You Didn’t Say Anything About a Bat…

Life Balance, New Jersey, Office Humor, Outdoor Adventure

For some insane reason I decided to remotely log in to work to catch up on emails. ON A SATURDAY! So I definitely deserved what was about to happen next. I sat out on the balcony with my lap top, copy pasting stuff from one excel spreadsheet to another well into the 9 o’clock hour. I finally realized that darkness had surrounded me so I decided to head inside. I stumbled into the dark apartment, flicked on the kitchen light, and continued to copy paste things in corporate-zombie-like fashion.

Suddenly, a quick shadow darted across the kitchen. I popped my head up to investigate. My initial thought was that some poor bird flew into the apartment. Then, it dive-bombed at me. The biggest, blackest, furriest bat I’ve ever seen. A self proclaimed nature lover, I jumped out of my seat, setting a new world record for how fast someone could possibly jump out of their seat. I grabbed the nearest object that was within reach and hurled it at the bat.

That object was a box of multi-grain Cheerios. I threw it with such force that it was now raining Cheerios in the kitchen. I raced around ducking and dodging the belligerent bat, crunching the cereal beneath my feet. The thing finally swooped into the room nearest to the balcony and I politely locked the door behind it. I looked around at all the flattened Cheerios on the floor, pondering my next move. Five minutes later I am adorned with a snowboarding jacket, goggles, and gloves, holding a frying pan. I was ready for action!

I flung open the door and charged into the room with the bat, unleashing my best warrior cry. Tripping over various objects, I reached the balcony door and kicked it open. The bat sensed freedom and seized the opportunity. It was free and I gladly returned the frying pan to its usual location. My theory is that the bat originally followed me into the apartment because it was drawn to the bright glare of the computer screen as I brought it inside. Lesson learned so thank you giant-creepy-furry-bat for reminding me to never log in to work on a Saturday again.

Different Bat from Different Encounter

Big Hiking Chicken

New Jersey, Outdoor Adventure

Lately, I’ve been doing a few solo-hikes. Not my favorite but, desperate times call for desperate measures. The leaves are gone and it’s cold as a witch’s teat (whatever that means). So it’s hard to get ordinary people to join me on a hike this time of year.

Nature at My Doorstep

Life Balance, New Jersey, Outdoor Adventure

The chance to go play in the outdoors has eluded me over past couple of weeks. To be honest, I haven’t really been getting after it. I’ve been lucky enough to plan a couple of overnight backpacking trips with some friends not long ago.  The trips went well and good times were had by all.

But, sometimes the outdoorsman doesn’t get outdoors; and it is always sad. So, I decided to bring the outdoors to my apartment.  There are several ways to make that possible. The most common way – call your local cable provider and ask for NAT GEO WILD. FYI, if you can’t get a hold of me this week, I’m alright, I’m just watching Big Cat Week on NAT GEO WILD. The other way to enjoy nature while trapped indoors is to try to lure nature to come to you – grandma style!

Mouse and Keyboard Abuse Disorder (It’s not pretty, but we can help)

Life Balance, Office Humor

Found this little Pika dude chilling out on a rock in Yellowstone near Old Faithful

Ever find yourself whaling away on your keyboard or clicking and quadruple clicking the crap out of your computer mouse? I call this illness “Mouse and Keyboard Abuse Disorder”, or simply MKAD. The funny thing is you don’t even realize you are acting like a crazy person. Instead, you reassure yourself -“I type with purpose! I am super-duper efficient!”

This illness usually takes hold at work when you are trying to solve a problem. Say for example, you don’t remember where you saved something.  Don’t you hate that? Now you are trying extra hard to find where you saved that file.

A Cure for Video Games

Outdoor Adventure

A classic evening on Lake Arrowhead

It all started on Lake Arrowhead, in Pennsylvania. I had just finished 3rd grade and I couldn’t believe summer was finally here. My friend invited me to spend a couple of weeks on the lake with him and his grandpa. Boy was I excited! I showed up at the lake wearing a big cheese grin on my face. I was all geared up for a week in front of the TV.  “Where did you guys hide the Nintendo?” I asked.